有趣的兩個List

Actual label instructions on consumer goods
1. On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Don 't turn upside down."
6. On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
8. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."


Ivy League Lightbulb Jokes
1. How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
2. How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven -- one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.
3. How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb? None -- Hanover doesn't have electricity.
4. How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two -- One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.
5. How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but he gets six credits for it.
6. How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-six -- one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.
7. How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? None -- New Haven looks better in the dark.
8. How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One -- he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
9. How many University of Nevada, Reno students does it take to change a ligthbulb? One.